Walking the Streets of Destruction

I have spent the last year hearing stories of the survivors of Typhoon Yolanda. They have talked about evacuating and returning to destroyed homes, staying in their homes and having it crumble around them, loss, pain, need.

A year of hearing about this devastating event and how they have struggled to recover has not hardened my heart to their pain.

Yolanda set the bar extremely high for storms in the Philippines. Ruby has been compared to Yolanda in every way: in strength, in size, in direction and in devastation. Some people have even written the storm off because- well it wasn’t nearly as bad as Yolanda.

This week I stood amongst the rubble of Laah’s house as she said, "Yolanda was not the worst. This was the worst for me."

Just days after the storm, I walked into a community that I had been to in July. I remember the community as being a really cute little barangay. Walking the streets there were beautiful flowers around people’s homes and occasionally you could see a break through the homes to carabao resting by rice fields spreading out in the brightest green splendor.

I couldn’t even recognize the community.

On the team with me was Michael, who had been with me through this community before. The look on his face reflected the expression that I could feel on my own. It was a mixture of shock and blankness as we took in what we saw.

Floods and mud had completely changed the atmosphere. Homes were completely gone, trees were down, the road was at some places completely filled with debris- much of it the remains of homes. Belongings were everywhere, everything encased in mud. Some houses still stood while others leaned a bit precariously, left unstable by the force they had withstood.

Ruby was the worst typhoon this community had experienced.

Our team had just distributed tarps and within an hour families were putting them up for shelter. As we walked through people thanked us for being there and thanked us for the relief supplies that we had just given. Looking around, it felt like so little compared to what these families needed.

Watching the Filipinos in the last year has taught me of their resilience and strength, of their faith and determination, and of their ability to carry on and rebuild. It gives me hope for those that have now been devastated by Ruby. While it seems hopeless now, they will continue forward, help will come, and hope will not be lost.

I am glad to have been a part of bringing help and hope to theses battered communities. They remain in my prayers as their struggles are just beginning. Livelihoods along with homes have been lost and there is a long road to recovery ahead. 

A Storm Is Coming

I wish the title was a metaphor, but unfortunately it is very much reality.

Almost a month after the Philippines remembered the devastation of Super Typhoon Haiyan/Yolanda one year ago, another typhoon has built up off the coast.

Winds howling, rain coming down so hard it's painful, CGI & debris flying by, walls crumbling, structures failing and water rising... these are just some of the memories that are now haunting the survivors of Yolanda.

And not just these, the loss of home and belongings, not knowing if your family is alive, watching those you love get pulled away in a flood, climbing and clinging to higher places, praying that you will be spared, walking through a devastated community, going hungry for days with only spoiled rice to eat, all of this and more are raising a panic in regions that are still trying to recover from the last hard hit.

Fear is everywhere.

I walked around Tacloban tonight looking for coffee. When I came to one of the regular places, it was all closed closed up. Across the street, the very popular bubble tea place was empty, and not just of people, all of the tables, chairs and couches were gone. On the corner, the cafe was closed, metal shutters pulled down in front of it.

Coming from North Carolina, I'm familiar with boarding up and battening down the hatches as hurricanes approach. Most people here are the same, but the scars of underestimating a storm are just barely healing. Survivors of the storm began rebuilding so quickly that many of them were slow to begin processing and healing emotionally.

My team is here to support the Philippines. We are making preparations, and our staff has been awesome! But, in some ways I feel helpless to ease the anxiety and panic that is rising. There are some times that only God can bring a peace and a comfort, and this is one of those times. So I pray, and I ask others to pray as well.

One of our staff posted this yesterday to Facebook: "My mind gets fogged with all the bitter memories I had of Haiyan. I couldn't help it. But I cannot succumb to worrying, it does nothing. It does not help one bit. Instead I will pray and prepare. I will be still and know that God is stronger. I will remind myself that I am not helpless. My help comes from the LORD the maker of the heavens and earth."

This morning while leading staff devos, one of our ministry team said this: "My Dad told me, 'Son, we did not survive (Yolanda) because we were good at hiding. We survived because God is a great God.'"

I am so humbled and inspired by the Filipinos that I get to work with. We are facing a storm together, but they are also facing trauma and painful memories. Through it all though, we rely on the same God, and he is a great God.

Please pray for the Philippines.

(this isn't Hagupit/Ruby)

Mountains and Molehills

Perseverance.

Just let that sink in. Perseverance.

What do you think of when you read it? It sounds inspiring. Do you get pumped up? It sounds heroic, like there's a good story there. It sounds like triumph. It sounds like finishing the race. It sounds like conquering. It sounds like something I want.

The ironic thing about it, is that there are times when you need it most, and in those moments, you don't want it.

Have you ever faced this? As long as life is good and you're making it alright with no particular challenges or weights dragging you down, then perseverance sounds like a great thing.
It's when you feel stretched, stressed, frustrated, discouraged and tired, that's when perseverance is needed, and that's when you want quite the opposite. Suddenly it's not inspiring. Suddenly it's not heroic. Suddenly you don't like the sounds of perseverance.

At this point, you may be thinking- wow, what is going on with Rebekah to inspire such drastic thinking. But really, do problems have to be big for us to feel this way? Sometimes I think those are the most bothersome problems- those ones that seem small and insignificant, like you should be able to take it on with little effort. Still, it remains- that little issue that keeps bringing you down, that keeps distracting you, that keeps discouraging you.

You can get to the point where a little thing become big and dominant. You have drawn it so close that you can't see past it. In photography, it's a matter of perspective. You begin to focus on a subject and the closer you get, the smaller and blurrier everything else appears.

So, how do you persevere? How do you start to back away from this thing that is dominating your focus and your vision?

I'm so, so thankful that it doesn't have to come from me.

In Romans, Paul talks about perseverance. And it does not sound inspiring when you get started- mainly due to the fact that it starts with suffering. Romans 5:
'And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings,'

Let me just stop you right there and say, whoa. Challenge one: rejoicing in suffering. I'm not going to lie, my first reactions are probably going to be whining to someone (or to God), getting frustrated, or lying on the floor and crying- probably not going to be rejoicing. Am I right? Ok, sorry- continuing on:

'but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;'
Yep, there it is... that glamorous perseverance.
'perseverance, character; and character, hope.'
Now, I've never thought about it like this before (and I've heard this passage quite a few times), but as this builds- suffering to perseverance, perseverance to character, I did not see character developing into hope. But those people that face the world, face their problems and have hope- it's not because they are naive, ignorant, or foolish- actually, it could be that they have been through a process that has developed perseverance and character and finally led to hope.

'And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.'

'You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possible dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.'

While we were still lying on the floor, crying about a problem- big or small, while we were running from perseverance, while we were so focused on something that we couldn't see anything else, Christ chose suffering SO MUCH GREATER. All so that we could be saved. All so that we could develop perseverance, character and HOPE.

That's a perspective changer. Even for someone who has known it, grown up with the truth of this Scripture, the reality of life is that we walk through challenges, we continue to have opportunities to grow, and we continue to have moments where we falter and even fail.

Do I know what it feels like to have God pour his love into my heart by the Holy Spirit? Do I know a hope that does not disappoint?

Yes, I do.

Do you?

Ahem, You Were Saying?

There are moments in life where you get something just plain wrong. I’m sure you've experienced this. You were convinced of something and were not afraid to tell anyone about it. Then later, you find out you were wrong.

Today was another day when I found out, I was just plain wrong. I've taken to confessing out loud when something like this occurs.

Let me take you back to the beginning of this story. I was returning from a splendid vacation. It was the type of vacation that, when the wheels of the plane lifted off of Australia, tears came to my eyes because I was not ready to leave. By the time I reached the Philippines, I had been traveling for at least 24 hours through multiple airports and I still had another long layover and flight before I’d be done.

I walked up to immigration, handed over my documents, then dug in my bag for more documents, answered questions, explained what I was doing and waited… and waited. The longer I waited the more frustrated I became. He kept flipping through my passport where there are multiple visas showing that I’ve been working here. My thoughts were a bit like this: ‘Just stamp the passport’, ‘I’m here to help people for crying out loud’, ‘Why are you so confused’, ‘JUST STAMP THE PASSPORT’, ‘If you really don’t want me here, I’m happy to go back to Australia or New Zealand'.

Eventually my passport was stamped and returned. I went through and met up with the other staff member traveling with me. They had gone through immigration in minutes, without any hassle and even thanked for working to help the victims of Yolanda. This elicited quite the vent session from me. All of those thoughts that I listed and more came spilling out of me in a torrent of complaints.

A month later, it came time to renew visas. My base manager walked up to me this afternoon and handed me my passport. “Good news, your visa doesn't need to be renewed. You were given a stamp that doesn't have to be extended.”

(the expression was something like this, though with a bit more surprise and shame)

It was a slap in the face of encouragement. I looked at her and confessed: “Well, I have to apologize for fussing about that immigration officer.”

I couldn't believe it had taken so long for the guy to stamp my passport. I was frustrated and in quite a bad attitude, thinking that clearly the middle of the night was too late for this guy because he was so confused. All the while, I had been given something worth much more than the time I had to spend standing there waiting.

Today, I needed a bit of encouragement. I had no idea that I had already been supplied that encouragement about a month ago. 

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The New Normal

The longer I am here, the more difficult I find it to blog. Sure, there are things happening: work, outings, life, fun sadness, boring, exciting, good, bad, otherwise..... So what do you say?

As I was emailing my Dad today, throwing in some general notes about what I've been up to, I was trying to explain my struggles with producing something worth reading, and it occurred to me- this environment is not new anymore.

It is easy to sit down and write in a world that is different from you own. You are suddenly thrust into a society and culture that you are generally unfamiliar with. Everything stands out. Everything is noticeable. Everything inspires thoughts, reactions and comments.

When I realized this, immediately I recognized the fact that I am adapting.

Things that I see everyday, hear all the time and do quite often are the new normal.

A visitor was in from Canada and snapped this shot. As soon as I saw him take it, I was surprised- why didn't I think of taking this picture? It's the new normal- it's everyday, so much so that I don't really notice anymore. 

a·dapt·a·ble

əˈdaptəbəl/

adjective

• able to adjust to new conditions.
• able to be modified for a new use or purpose.

I took a second as I sat there typing the email to my Dad and thought about how cool God is for creating us with the ability to adjust to new conditions and to take on new purpose.

It's easy to fall into thinking that adaptability is all well and good for the adventurous at heart, but there are just some personalities that aren't made for it. Life is full of new conditions, uses and purposes. Some seem greater than others. "Easy" is not anywhere in that dictionary definition of adaptable.
I'm watching people adapt right in front of me from one of the worst scenarios we can imagine: losing everything- homes, possessions, FAMILIES.

God made an incredible creation in Man. Things that we think will break us don't always. We get back up, we press on, we keep moving forward, we never say die (shall I continue?).

And, the cool thing is, we're not asked or expected to do it alone.
God knew that we needed each other, and He created other people.
God also knew that we needed Him, and Father, Son & Holy Spirit are there for us. Waiting for us to call out.

Today, I marvel at God's creation: us.

(This kid is already a deep thinker. I expect great things.) 

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Purpose

I was thinking this morning about where I'm at mentally/emotionally. Many of my friends describe me as independent and I would not characterize myself as being a homebody, but when you move quite literally to the other side of the world, there are effects.
In orientation for this job, which I used to help lead for new IFS as part of my previous job, there's a discussion on culture shock/ culture fatigue. It's what occurs generally about 3-6 months after you have moved to a new culture. It can present itself in many ways, and varies depending on the person.
Lately, I've been seeing some of these things occurring in me.
I really hoped I'd be some sort of strange person that didn't experience any culture shock, but I knew that I was not above the influence. The newness does wear off, and eventually you begin to miss things from your home culture, and probably most impactful- people.

With that on my mind, I started working on a project at work that has been interesting. It has involved going back and compiling information about the Typhoon and the time after. I've seen a lot of recovery since the first time I set foot in Tacloban in January. I haven't forgotten the pictures from November and December, but I had forgotten just how overwhelming it all was.

I've read articles and reports one after another talking about the devastation, the chaos, and the death toll. I remembered this image that I saw while I was in Boone working on the IMT that ran our response efforts.

(not my photo)

I remember what it felt like the first time I saw this picture of people evacuating Tacloban after the storm. 

I remember reading this article from one of our first staff to get into Tacloban. http://www.samaritanspurse.org/article/divine-purposes/ 

I remember people saying things like "off the scale, and apocalyptic".

I remember the stories of fear and desperation as people fought to survive in the days after the storm when rampant looting and lack of food and water continued the nightmare.

(not my photo)

This is a mild version of the reality of what happened during Typhoon Yolanda. This is a small picture of the catastrophe. One of our staff lead devotions today and in her testimony she kept calling it the tragedy.

This is not what Tacloban and the surrounding areas in Leyte and Samar look like today. Much work from the Filipino people and various militaries, agencies and NGOs has happened and continues to rebuild and bring recovery to the region. 

This is why we are here. We are here to serve and support the people that hung on through tragedy. We are here to help them recover and show them the love of Christ, sharing with them truth and hope. 

I haven't forgotten why I am here and yet, having to come face to face again with some of the most staggering statistics, stories, and images is sobering and motivational. 

I will still go through effects of living in a different world, but I am thankful for reminders, even surprising ones, of my purpose here. 

“Our team has remained encouraged knowing that God will accomplish His purpose here—a wise and sovereign and merciful purpose—and we are part of that.” Aaron Ashoff

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A Road Unseen

Today someone in my office needed to borrow a Bible. I was looking for my 'lender', but couldn't find it because it was hiding just behind my laptop. Yes, I do have 2 Bibles here. I call one my lender because it is nice and new and fresh. My other Bible has been with me through a lot and it shows it. It's all marked up and I have a bit of habit of filling it with things that I like to have with me. Reminders of places I've been, people that have influenced me, and times when God has been evident in my life.
I had to hand over this Bible, and immediately I wanted to apologize for all of the things that would probably fall out of it when looking for whatever passage was needed.

Once it was returned, I flipped through it, just to peruse how much I had tucked in the pages and feeling a little apprehensive of judgement for having so much in there. While looking through the pages, I came across this...

I didn't realize it was there, making a home in Psalms.
December 14th I got on a plane in Charlotte. I knew that I was starting something big and exciting, but I had no idea that I had just stepped onto a road- a whole new direction for my life.
That day, as I made my way to JFK where I nearly missed my flight from having to go through security all over again, I was headed to the Philippines to help with SP's disaster response to Typhoon Yolanda/Haiyan for a month.

God knew I was starting more than that.

Coming across this was such a great reminder today that God is in control. Not that I doubt that God is in control, but something about it- just looking at it and thinking: I had no idea what was ahead, but God knew precisely how it was going to go down.
There are still many desires that I have in life. There are still many things that I wonder if they will ever happen. Looking back at this boarding pass is a great encouragement, because it stands as evidence of something that I believe, and that is that God is working it all out. (This isn't to say working out everything I want, but working out the details of my life.)

I didn't know what God had in store when I boarded that plane. I don't know what road lay ahead. But I'm happy that I can face each day knowing that God has it all planned out.
I can ponder what lies ahead and decisions that I don't even face yet. Sometimes I think that has to make God chuckle. In the end, it's how I face today that makes a difference. And when you trust things to someone else, there's a carefree feeling that comes.

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain to the place where you dwell.
Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God.
Psalm 43: 3-4

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Split between two

In trying to sit down and write, I find that I have two different topics on my mind. Instead of picking one, I think I'll talk about both and see if I wind up connecting them in some way. It will either be surprisingly good, or long and random. Here goes nothing...

Flexibility is Key:

When people talk about travel, working in the field, dealing with groups- practically anything, you hear all about the necessity of flexibility. It's a virtue. It's a key. It's survival. It's necessary. It's how you stay sane. I could go on and on. Basically, be flexible. 

I've heard it over and over again and I know how important it is. But sometimes, you can bend something until it breaks. Think about it... even a flexible object can sometimes be worked back and forth until it is worn and a weak spot presents itself. 

I know how valuable it is to adapt to situations and surroundings. Unfortunately, I'm not perfect. This week I found myself making the comment that I just wanted something to happen as planned. Even as I said it, I felt like those around me were scoffing thinking 'don't you know where you are, you're in the field, not in the States'. (No one may have been thinking that, but you can see that in my own mind I was judging myself.) In reality, if you try to plan and work with a group of people even at home things will not go perfectly. 

As I have reached almost 4 (actually 5 if you count my time on the DART) months here, I have to remind myself weakness is an opportunity for God to show his strength and his faithfulness. I will get tired. I will be inflexible. I will crack. I will be emotional. I will be weak. God knows all of that. He made me. It doesn't mean I am unusable to him where he has placed me. It means he has more of a chance to prove to me, and to others, that he is awesome and greater than whatever area in which I am faltering. 

Looking Back:

Today I was talking to a new friend. We were sharing our stories with one another. It's absolutely fascinating to hear how God has brought people here. From all different places, from all different experiences in life you have people that have come to the same place in the world for the same purpose: helping people. 

As we each shared about our lives and how we came to the Philippines, I thought it was neat how similar our stories were. I also had to reflect on where I've been. There's a quote from someone saying something along the lines of not knowing where you are until you know where you've been. (Sorry to all of you quote loving people. In my defense, I did try to Google it, but moved on as it was just a small part of the point I'm making.) To reflect on your life and how God has carried you through, gives you perspective on where you are. 

Today, I thought about times when I struggled. I thought about a particular time in my life where I basically begged to be out of that place and looking back on the situation thankful that I am not there any more. And here I am, no longer in that situation and so thankful that God carried me through. I'm also grateful for the time that I had to stay there. During that time that I had to rely on God and trust that He had really given me the call to serve him 'to the ends of the earth', and to absolutely believe that he has a plan for my life. 

Bring it in:

To tie these two together I guess it comes down to this- I am reminded that even in my weakness, I know God 1. is in control 2. knows what he's doing 3. has been faithful and will not change and 4. has a plan for me, as is evidenced by how he has guided my life so far. 

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It's not in my hands... thank goodness

(this is a week later than I started writing it)
This past week I played hostess to a team of broadcast and communications guys from headquarters. Before they arrived, I was really unsure of all it would entail. I started to figure it out pretty quickly. On Friday of the previous week, they hit the ground running and I took off running with them. My goal was for their time here to be as productive as possible. This is the time for them to be able to see and show others what is going on here in the Philippines. In my head, it just felt like the pressure was on to direct them to the right places and the right people.

By the time Monday came, I had already seen so many plans made and remade. I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed as things fell through and shifted and completely changed directions. To me, it felt like failure, and it doesn't take much getting to know me to learn how I feel about failure. In short, I don't like it.

Thankfully, I was sent a great encourager in one of the communications guys. He kept reminding me that God will work things out how he wants them, and that doesn't necessarily mean how things were planned. This can be a difficult lesson for me. I feel like with each year that passes, I become more and more of a planner. What I was after was success, and I didn't feel like I was being successful. Isn't that how God works a lot of times though? When we want to be successful, and prove how great we are, God allows things to change a bit. It has to do with trust and humility.

Why is it that over and over again we have to learn trust and humility? We must learn that things are not always in our control.

I like control, but this week I was reminded that actually, it's way better that things are not always in my hands, but in bigger, much more capable hands. For that, I am thankful.

Faves of the Philippines 3

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MONDAY

At the very word, everyone knows what I mean. I don’t even have to go into what all Mondays entail for me, you already know a few things, just by the mention of the day:

1.      The weekend is over
2.      The weekend was not long enough
3.       Hello email inbox FULL of things that need to be taken care of
4.      Task list full of things that need to be checked off this week… especially TODAY
5.      MONDAY

On this blessed day, this day in which stress takes on a whole new meaning, this day in which I’m sure the number of grey hairs on my head is increasing exponentially: Monday, I find myself bombarded with encouragement.

Surprised?

Not as surprised as me, I’m sure. In the morning alone I received:

1.  A carving of a Caribao and note reminding me of sweet memories from a weekend of playing with kids in the rain. A fantastic reminder of why I’m here and how blessed I am in so many ways.
2.  A message of encouragement from my best friend. Being far away from anyone is a test of the relationship. You find out more about who you are, the depths of your relationship, and what they mean to you.  Some relationships fizzle out, and some grow even stronger than before.  
3. A message from another friend full of understanding, reminders of home and encouragement.

I’m so thankful for the encouragement today. It’s had such a calming effect and has really fought the Monday blues. Whenever they come, I look up at Phil (my water buffalo) and smile.

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Perspective Shift: Distributions and Newcomers

Sitting down and writing your thoughts and feelings on life and situations around you seems simple… until you try to do it. I don’t think I have the knack for blogs. Sometimes you just don’t feel like you have anything significant to say. Or at least, that’s how I feel about it.

Each week is a busy one. After a couple of long days in the office a couple of weeks ago, I finally wrapped some tasks up that had been keeping me in the office instead of out in the field. With that taken care of on Tuesday, I spent the rest of the week out with the programs. (This means out with the people.)

One day, I was out with the shelter team while they were distributing kits. I've been to shelter kit distributions before, and they are always bustling with activity and generally exciting. This distribution was different though, and it really struck a new chord with me. My focus is typically on rebuilding and it is exciting. These families are receiving shelters, and long awaited supplies at that. I usually think of these distributions as such a big step forward. But at this distribution, there was an ever present reminder of devastation.

The distribution took place on a road that had been blocked off for repair. So, it was a very active area with people and vehicles swirling around at every turn. In the split of the road there was a little median area. I had noticed previously that there were graves there. It reminded me of St. Kitts, an island in the Caribbean where I went on my first international mission trip. I was young, and it was my first experience out of the United States. I had never seen a graveyard in the middle of the road before then. So, when I saw the graves here, I didn't think much of it.

During the distribution, one of our staff commented on the graves, and I learned that these graves were all people who had died because of Yolanda.

That hit me.

I walk streets of damage. I see destruction every day. I've gotten used to it. I know there is loss involved. I hear the stories of our staff who talk about loss and pain. I see the tears shed when they share about their experiences. A part of working here is learning what to focus on. The Philippine people have shown an amazing ability to move forward and not be crippled by the pain and the loss they have suffered. But, while they are not broken by their experience, they are still affected. There is still emotion and recovery going on inside of each person, just like there is still recovery going on with rebuilding homes and livelihoods.

As new people arrive to the Philippines, I hear comments on how they see so much damage-more evidence of destruction than they were expecting. In general, the international community has forgotten about the Typhoon. There have been many more disasters and international incidents since November to take attention away form the Philippines. Hearing the reactions of those who are new to Leyte reminds me, just like seeing the distribution by the graves, of the environment in which I am working.  I cannot do my job well if I walk around emotional all of the time. I also cannot do my job well or take advantage of opportunities around me if I do not have any emotional connection at all.

My prayer for myself and my team is that while we work hard to meet physical needs here, we will also stay sensitive to the ways in which we can also assist in the emotional and Spiritual healing that is taking place all around us. 

Scatterbrained

I'm sitting in my room, listening to the rain tapping on my AC unit and window and I feel quite scatterbrained. I know I need to write, as it has been awhile, and I want to write, but focusing on what to say is not working out so well at the so moment. So, I'm taking an approach from one of my English classes- 'free writing'. I'll do a little more editing than I did in my class though, so hopefully a point will emerge eventually.

On Monday, the doctor that leads the mobile medical clinics did our devotions. One of the points that she made during it was finding out identity in Christ and how the devil has many ways that he tries to lead us astray from that, often subtle lies about ourselves that distract us from the truth. As a visual example she showed a picture of one of the children she had encountered with a cleft palate. The child was quite shy, and you can tell by his body language in the pictures that he has believed things about himself from peoples reactions or comments to him, or from looking at his own image and seeing that he is different from everyone around him. There were a few points that I was mulling over from the devotion that morning, and Monday happened to be the day that I went with the medical team to the Schistosomiasis hospital.

Several children had been found in the mobile clinics with cleft lip or cleft palate, like the little boy in Abi's picture. Abi has been working to see if surgeries can be arranged for them, and this was they day that they were all traveling to the hospital for preliminary tests and paperwork. I was able to go along to cover it for stories and photos, and to help provide photos for the applications for surgeries. I met the little boy that was in the pictures that morning. He was even more timid in person than he had appeared in the photos. If I pulled my camera out, he would almost cry and would hide behind his mother. It was heart breaking to me, because each one of the kids there was absolutely beautiful.

As X-rays were being arranged, I was in a room separate from the kids, but with a window. I started playing through the window with one of the babies, and he was precious. He would smile and laugh. When I looked at the oldest child, who was 6, and how he didn't smile, and would hide from attention, I saw where this baby would be in a few years, once he realized he was different. Would he too believe that he should hide his face? Would he believe things about himself and his worth based on how people treated him? I pray that he won't have to go through that, but it makes you stop and think about people. As Abi said, there are many things, subtle influences on how we see ourselves, and also how we effect others.

One of the girls that I work with posted this the other day and it tied right along with these thoughts: "Today I tried hiding under my awesome SP hat and made the effort to hum my insecurities away. I somehow felt that common need to alter oneself to please people. I mulled on it. But at the end of the day I was reminded that it wasn't worth it to look like the world. I don't wanna look like everybody else; I wanna be like Jesus! To follow God's word and obey it. To live the life He gave me and to love the people He surrounded me with. To be who He wants me to be - like Jesus." 

She found her identity in Christ. Two reminders for today: 1. Where are you finding your identity and your worth? It goes way deeper than looks. While that is one obvious example here, it is not the entire point. 2. How are you influencing those around you with your looks, words, attitude and treatment? Do you want to be like Jesus?

Meet Phil...

The importance of making connections and networking is a part of life anywhere, but many people would say that it is particularly true when living and working in a new culture/context. There are many types of connections to be made   value in each. With this in mind, I introduce Phil... a recent, and somewhat unexpected addition to my network. And, while we have not been acquainted long, I would say we are already to friend status. 

I came across Phil last weekend on the way to one of barangays where shelter distributions have been happening recently. While my party had other plans for the day, we took time to make this important connection. Phil holds an important place in the circles here. I don't have a picture of how hard working he is, and according to one of our friends, he is young and will have a lot ahead of him in that regard. I do however have an example of the kind of contribution that Phil makes...











Work doesn't stop for rain, and in that you can see a picture of the people here- determined, pressing on, doing what needs to be done. Even though spending time with Phil was enjoyable, as I mentioned, there were other plans for the day. And, those plans involved some other, very important connections... these guys:

Earlier in the week, SP was in their barangay doing shelter distributions, and some of the kids sent a message to Ms. Laura, that on Saturday, they did not have school, and could play all day. Ms. Laura could not pass up such an invite, and neither could a couple of the rest of us. Threats of rain were not going to keep us away either- after all, what's the difference between being playing wet with rain or wet with sweat here? It was a great way to spend a Saturday. We had a ball that we played dodgeball and kickball with and when that and the rain called for a break, we did some singing. Let me tell you, these kids can sing... and they like it! We sang some songs with them, and they sang a couple of songs for us. I noticed after a little bit though, that some of the boys were slipping out. I knew exactly what they were up to as well... time to play around with the ball some more. Of course I head out with the boys, and it ended up that I would be the one to throw the ball up into the air so that they could then hit it with their heads. I documented this with photos, which they then all had to see. As you can imagine, it went on for awhile. This is what the boys and I were doing.... 

 
Meanwhile...

 ...the other group was a bit more organized. Playing with the kids ended up being the best part of the weekend. Happiness can come from the simplest of things... like a big blue ball, but joy- that comes from somewhere else. Like the song says: I've got joy down in my heart, deep, deep down in my heart. J-O-Y down in my heart, deep, deep down in my heart. Jesus put it there, and nothing can destroy it. I've got joy down in my heart, deep, deep down in my heart.

 

Second First Anniversary

One month. I realized this week that today marks a month since I've been in Tacloban. It is the second month that I have been in the Philippines. In a neat turn of events, I ended up going to the airport today to meet some people. When I arrived back in Tacloban in February, I could tell that a lot had changed in the 3 weeks that I had been gone. Today, one month later, there was even more of a difference. While some people who have never been here may ride through the city and see destruction, it's pretty neat to have a perspective where you can see a good change happening. Yes, there is still damage, and there is still need. I don't forget that. I talk to people every day with great needs. But there is also rebuilding, and reopening of businesses, and more and more activity.

To summarize a month, I'd say: business. The easiest thing to see is a check list in front of you, reminding you of things yet to be done. And, if that doesn't do it, then like I said, there are many people to talk to in which you are quickly reminded. I think it's important not to neglect either realization- that restoration is happening, but also that there is still need.

While there is a lot of focus outward, I think it's also important to look at myself and contemplate what a month means to me. It's easy to see people and to see checklists and not to stop and think about what God is doing in me, or trying to teach me. I'd say, the biggest thing for me in stepping out of 'normal' life and into a new job, new office, new culture, new everything, is learning a new reliance on the Lord. I tend to be one that likes challenges, and I like victories, but recognizing that it's not my strength which accomplishes anything is important. If the challenge is great enough, we turn to God crying out for help. I think in the little things, we want to take credit for that ourselves. As I reflect on a month, I see God at work around me, and I see God at work in me. My prayer is that each day, I will praise God in the little triumphs as well as the big ones, and not just stop every month or so to recognize and celebrate what I see Him doing. I think that can be a challenge for us, just getting swept away in the day to day and never taking time to reflect or to process or to be thankful.

So, as I look towards another day, and another month, I'd like to throw down a challenge to you that I'll be taking on myself: look for God at work in and around you. Thank Him for the little triumphs each day- cause you may think it's your strength, but you don't even have breath without God- the creator and sustainer of life... of you. It'll be good for you!

Shelter and Perspective

This past week I got to go out in the field. My job can be dominated by the office at times, and I am thankful that it involves a mix of office work as well as getting out to the projects to see what is going on and to interact with people.
One of the greatest needs here is for shelter. I remember when I first saw pictures of the destruction that the typhoon did here in the Philippines. It was not long after that a tornado went through Illinois. It was crazy to me how the pictures from both places looked quite similar. When you think about it though, it makes complete sense, because both storms involved winds of crazy speeds. There are times where you can almost imagine it when you see huge telephone or light poles of heavy metal layer over like they were made of aluminum foil. At a point, you get used to seeing this, and to seeing people rebuilding. But, just because there is progress, it does not mean there is not need.
With this in mind, this past week was a really exciting time. SP has been buying downed and damaged coconut trees in order to produce lumber. The trees are cut from the field into planks, the planks are hauled to a sawmill, and then they are cut down into boards. The boards, along with nails, plastic, and roofing are then given out in shelter kits to people who's homes have been assessed as being 70% to completely damaged.
If it sounds like a lot of work, it's because it is. It takes a lot of effort to produce lumber to make into these shelter kits, and as you can imagine, there are many people that need them. It's been amazing to see the process happening, but, just like with most things that we work for, seeing completion is also such a fantastic experience. I got to be there this past Thursday when shelter kit distributions began in Santa Fe. People came with whatever transportation they could arrange- pedicabs, trucks, the other day there was even a water buffalo and cart, to pick up materials to rebuild their homes. In order to receive these, as mentioned their homes were assessed, but they also went through a training on how to build their homes back stronger and sturdier. (If a parable about building your house and foundation is going off in your head, then you're on the same track as I am.)
I had a chance to talk to several people receiving shelter kits. As usual, I was amazed to talk to them. Remedios was one lady that just energized me to talk to. She was so upbeat and was teaching me some Waray-Waray while thanking me for the support that SP is giving. She told me that she was praying for us, and I told her that we prayed for them as well.
God gives us incredible moments of perspective changes. Times where, if we're willing, we can see situations, and ourselves in a much different light. I'm so thankful for these moments. It can be incredibly humbling at times, but in such a good way. I feel so blessed when I get this opportunities. Sometimes it's like the most obvious thing, but when it clicks in your mind, you're just amazed and all you can do is praise the Lord and be thankful for it. Getting to be at the beginning of the shelter kit distributions and talking to the different people there, was one of these perspective moments!

Today I met a lady, we'll call her B. She came with her friend to ask about work. We have a cash for work program that we've been running to provide work for people by having different projects to accomplish. In the beginning there were a lot of clean-up programs, but as time goes on projects change. This is different than employment, which we have as well. It's meant to provide temporary work- day labor for people to be able to earn some income. While we are able to help many, today was a reminder of how many people need work. When B was giving me her information, she pulled out a card that had her contact number on it. It was a work ID from a job she no longer has. She's a worker. She's also a mother, and a single parent at that. She told me that she and her friend were both single parents. Both ladies looking to be able to provide for their families. They wanted to work.
I don't know what's going to happen with B and her friend, if we will have work that we can give them of not. Reality tells me that there are more people than we can employ, but to look into her eyes, it reminds me of why we are here, for people. There are responsibilities, there are tasks to be done, sometimes it seems like my check list is why I am here, but I'm here for B. I'm here for people. And, not just to help them back up, but to show them that there is hope, and it comes from Christ.

It's been really neat to see how many people we've been able to hire by coming here. Thinking about today, it kind of dawned on me, that it's a beautiful picture to think that we're not just giving people jobs who need work, and we're not just accomplishing relief in an area where there has been devastation, we're doing both at the same time. And, working for organizations that come in to provide relief, gives the people here opportunities to work and to provide for their families, and also a chance to be a part of rebuilding their own communities. It's not something to forget that the people we work with every day, are also our beneficiaries. Just yesterday, I was listening to one of our national staff talk about loss in her family. We were driving by an area and she mentioned it was where one of her uncles had lived, and where he died. It strikes you, doesn't it? The reality of loss, of the pain that they have gone through and are still processing.

The word that I have heard used most since Yolanda has been resilient. The people in Leyte and the surrounding areas have not been broken by the loss that they have been through. They push forward. They work hard. They are not just achievers either, they are full of thanks. There is inspiration all around here, if you're willing to look for it. There are people. There is B.

To begin with...

I'm running over the past few days in my head and thinking about what all I should report on, and while I've been quite busy fighting jet lag and covering a visit from a delegation of congressman, the only thing that is really standing out in my mind is Sunday morning.

I've always enjoyed worshipping in churches internationally. It is such a picture of the Body of Christ to step into a gathering in another country and know that regardless of the language you are connected through the Spirit and the same belief in Christ. I love to sing together! Even if we're not singing in the same language, it's so incredible when I know the song, and can worship together.

I was blessed to be in a service that was actually in english, but what touched me this time about being amongst a different part of the Body of Christ than usual was just how passionate they were. This may not seem unusual to those that have been in church services in other countries, but here's what I thought as I stood there singing with them, and praying with them: I was thinking about the devastation that they have gone through. I didn't even come in the initial phase of the response to Typhoon Yolanda, but when I did arrive a month later- the destruction was still quite evident and impactful. Pictures don't create the feeling that walking into a city and being surrounded by torn apart buildings, missing roofs, twisted and dangling power lines, and crushed vehicles strewn about does. Many of these people lived through the storm here, all of them have been effected by it. All of them have lost neighbors, or known someone that died. To stand among them and hear their passion and praise overflow to the Lord- words can't describe that.

To leave what I know as home, my friends, my 'stuff', all of it seems diminished when you put it into the reality of the situation of the people I am now privileged to work along side. I have so much to be thankful for- and standing side by side with my brothers and sisters in Tacloban and singing just made that even more apparent. There are many needs and there is much healing that needs to occur for these people, but there is also hope in the Lord. Sunday I was encouraged and blessed with a fresh perspective.