I've always felt so inspired by this. It's a power passage- I've always wanted to be that one that jumps forward and says- 'Right here- me, look no further, I'm ready to go'. It sounds great right? Well, I always read it and wanted to be Isaiah- ready to go for the Lord.
What it takes to stand before the call of the Lord and say- 'it's me you're looking for' is faith.
Lately faith has been on my mind a lot and I feel like I'm learning a bit more about it. Faith is such a common term when you grow up going to church. It becomes so constant that it almost feels basic and easy to overlook.
As my time came to a close in the Philippines, I was faced with the decision to stay there or to return home. I really struggled with the decision. Thinking of returning the States felt like turning away from the call of "Whom shall I send?" At the same time though, I felt like I was actually being called to a step of faith, to return to the States trusting that God had another plan ahead. There's a reason why the Bible talks about following by faith and not by sight. Faith is all about being blind and moving forward anyway.
After being back for about a month, I was beginning to come to the end of my to do list. I was strictly trying to avoid thinking about what was coming next, but let's be honest- I think down the road quite a bit. I looked at options and was praying about what I should be doing, but nothing was becoming clear. Then, one Saturday morning at 5 o'clock, I got a phone call. I looked at my phone trying to figure out why on earth it was making noise and in complete sleep confusion, I swatted the call. Fortunately, the second time my phone went off I was lucid enough to actually answer it and the question came- Can you get on a plane today?
On March 13, Tropical Cyclone Pam slammed the island country of Vanuatu in the Pacific. On Saturday the 14th, I once again decided to answer here am I, send me. Not knowing what exactly was ahead I stepped out- ready to go.
When I arrived on Tanna Island, one of the hardest hit in Vanuatu, I stepped into a site that was beginning to look a bit familiar. The damage that cyclones and typhoons bring to communities is becoming recognizable to me- but that does not mean that it does not have impact. Trees looked like they had been turned upside down with roots growing toward the sky instead of into the ground. The leaves and greenery of the bush had been beaten off by winds and heavy rain. Branches were broken and the state of shelters and buildings ranged from roofs missing to nothing left but a concrete pad. Need was evident- everywhere you looked you could see it. And not only were shelters damaged, but crops were damaged. This is not a culture where you just go to the store and pick up whatever you want- here you grow what you live on in your own garden. In a day, all of it was gone. Most people only had food supplies that would last a week, maybe two.
As I've been here working, I've been reading Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret (at least whenever I've had time to read- which I'll admit has not been often)- talk about lessons in faith. As Hudson Taylor prepared to work in China and started his time there, he went through many lessons of faith in God- times where he could do nothing but trust that God would work things out with big and small issues/needs.
Everyday I work with people who have lost a lot- or everything. While casualties were very low here, and Vanuatu fell out of the media attention very quickly, there are still so many that need shelter and food and just basic things.
It's amazing to be a part of meeting peoples needs. Over the month that I've been here, I've been a part of distributing tarps, blankets, jerry cans, hygiene kits and cooking kits, working with a medical team to bring care to those far from the hospital (one- that serves 5 islands) and most recently- distributing food.
There's a part in the book I've been reading where Hudson Taylor is trying to explain what God was teaching him at one point and he just couldn't put it into words. I feel that way about what I've been learning here. I've actually been avoiding trying to write because I just couldn't put it into words.
To work in the middle of such pain, I've learning a different perspective of God and His love and following Him in faith. Through trials and challenges, we learn a different depth of God's love. It's not that He doesn't love us when bad things happen- in fact sometimes, in the midst of that struggle- He will bring people from 7 different countries right to your home.
I've by no means learned everything there is to learn about faith- particularly faith in the midst of trials. I feel like I am only beginning to stick my toe into that ocean of knowledge, and the more that I learn, the more I realize there is that I do not know.
There is risk and sacrifice involved in saying 'Here am I. Send me!' You step forward into the unknown- often blindly trusting that even though you have no idea about, well quite a lot, God has things under control and can still use you. There are also great rewards as you become a part of what God is doing- you see Him at work and you learn and grow. Faith steps aren't always leaps from the lion's head- sometimes it is a call at 5am- asking you follow into the middle of pain and disaster, but sometimes it is small daily decisions, or just opening your eyes out of your normal routine to look and see where God is working around you and realizing that he is calling "Whom shall I send?"
When was the last time you took a leap from the lion's head?
